As I began it, I'll end it with a song. This is a theme song for my 2012.
Check out the Brassfly page on Facebook. Much love!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!! 2012
As you guys have had noticed, I haven't been posting as much. I want to consolidate my pages so one of the things I'm doing is closing this blog. You can follow me at my Brassfly page where it's pretty much what I do here. I love this blog and where it has taken me mentally. I love you guys and thank you for your support. It isn't over. It's just over there on Facebook. Come over and share!!
Also in other news: since I've started working out I've lost 20 pounds. Woohoo! I don't see it, but my family and friends do. All I'm going by is what the scales are saying. I'll take it! Please come hang over at Brassfly!
Thank you thank you thank you for everything!! Have a great new year!!
Also in other news: since I've started working out I've lost 20 pounds. Woohoo! I don't see it, but my family and friends do. All I'm going by is what the scales are saying. I'll take it! Please come hang over at Brassfly!
Thank you thank you thank you for everything!! Have a great new year!!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Congo elections: Why is our revolution not being televised?
If you're not aware of how your cellphone, laptop and game consoles is connected to the conflict, watch this video also.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
TOKYO DIIVA - FASHION FREAKS (F*CK FOOD)
Meet the overnight sensation that's been years in the making. This is the woman Nicki Minaj and others have copied. A staple on the NYC scene bringing you a hook that lands like a bomb.
Wishing her all the success and thanks for THE song of the year that hits my inner cunt nicely.
Sometimes I'm just sick of politics and love songs that are total opposite.
Wishing her all the success and thanks for THE song of the year that hits my inner cunt nicely.
Sometimes I'm just sick of politics and love songs that are total opposite.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Cats Must Go :(
I love my cats. All were rescues, but now I have to give up 2 of the 3 for the sake of the best thing that happened to me- my daughter. Her health is the issue. I feel bad and kinda of cold hearted to 'kick them out' per say. I'm hoping to find them a home or a no kill shelter. This is the 3rd time I had to give up my animals. Maybe they're not meant to be in my private life. Sigh. No more rescues, but I will support rescuers.
I'll keep my first cat hoping that one cat will be ok instead of 3. I admit adding a 3rd kitty to the home was pushing me to 'cat lady' status. It was more than expected. But the 3rd was a hungry little black kitten on my porch. Kahlo's not happy with the thought of them going. I understand. Mommy's not either. If I was to say cats vs. my little girl's health: Guess what I pick.
What would you do?
I'll keep my first cat hoping that one cat will be ok instead of 3. I admit adding a 3rd kitty to the home was pushing me to 'cat lady' status. It was more than expected. But the 3rd was a hungry little black kitten on my porch. Kahlo's not happy with the thought of them going. I understand. Mommy's not either. If I was to say cats vs. my little girl's health: Guess what I pick.
What would you do?
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I'm At the Gym!
I'm writing this with my body full of pain. I joined a gym. It was a special and I need to exercise so I said what the hey. I'm sooooo out of shape and sick of it. Intro to exercises with my trainer was awesome but I'm in pain and I have an appointment with him tomorrow. I've been sick most of October and have been drained. I fell off the vegan wagon but am back on (don't be mad). I've kicked off an improvement plan. Spirituality, finances, fitness, home, education, creativity and business. All are being addressed in succession.
I'm not thinking I'll instantly be a size 6 (never was and I used to have a near six pack) in a month. I know I may be looking at a year or two. I didn't care that the trainer weighed me. I didn't care what exercise we did. I let him lead because I want to do this right and effectively. I want my clothes back. I want my health back. I want my energy back. I want to be a good example to my daughter. I want to be physically ready for the next steps. I'm ready to do what it takes to have a successful, happy life-- not what others think is successful, but how I feel about my life. I doubt I'll be in those little booty running shorts. I doubt I'll look for your approval in a bikini (What the hell is that about anyway? We see you're thinner. Why do you suddenly have to take your clothes off?). I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again.
There's so much on my plate now that I cannot afford bad health. I'm going to be putting more on my plate hopefully soon so I need to be in shape. I'm thinking of even making next year's Turkey Trot a goal. We'll see. Wish me luck on that.
Also Eid's this weekend so Eid Mubarak!!
I'm not thinking I'll instantly be a size 6 (never was and I used to have a near six pack) in a month. I know I may be looking at a year or two. I didn't care that the trainer weighed me. I didn't care what exercise we did. I let him lead because I want to do this right and effectively. I want my clothes back. I want my health back. I want my energy back. I want to be a good example to my daughter. I want to be physically ready for the next steps. I'm ready to do what it takes to have a successful, happy life-- not what others think is successful, but how I feel about my life. I doubt I'll be in those little booty running shorts. I doubt I'll look for your approval in a bikini (What the hell is that about anyway? We see you're thinner. Why do you suddenly have to take your clothes off?). I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again.
There's so much on my plate now that I cannot afford bad health. I'm going to be putting more on my plate hopefully soon so I need to be in shape. I'm thinking of even making next year's Turkey Trot a goal. We'll see. Wish me luck on that.
Also Eid's this weekend so Eid Mubarak!!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday Groove
Some great ladies you should listen to!
If I could get away with this hairstyle, I would!
Two great artists come together like chocolate and peanut butter.
She sounds like a neo Rose Murphy to me
If I could get away with this hairstyle, I would!
Two great artists come together like chocolate and peanut butter.
She sounds like a neo Rose Murphy to me
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Divesting From Private Prisons
A new coalition of immigrant and labor groups tries to shame the nation’s largest investment firms.
On May 16, just four days after demonstrations against the private prison industry in cities across the country—part of the National Prison Industry Divestment Campaign—Pershing Square Capital Management, a New York-based hedge fund, sold its remaining shares of Corrections Corporation of America (CCA) stock. After selling 3.4 million shares earlier in the year, the fund unloaded another 4.4 million. Altogether, the shares were worth nearly $200 million.
Pershing didn’t say it was reacting to the new campaign, but Enlace, an umbrella group of 21 worker centers, unions and community groups in the United States and Mexico that is leading the divestment campaign, took credit in a statement later that month.
On May 12, the first day of the campaign, Enlace and other groups organized protests in New York City, Los Angeles, Tucson, Nashville and Miami to pressure Wells Fargo, General Electric, Fidelity, Wellington Management Company and other firms to divest from private prison corporations including CCA, GEO Group (GEO) and Management and Training Corporation (MTC).
CCA, the private prison industry’s largest company, which has contracts with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and the U.S. Marshal Service, is also the nation’s largest detainer of undocumented immigrants. Since the company began to receive ICE contracts in 2000, immigrant rights groups have been targeting CCA for prisoner abuse, poor working conditions for guards and the company’s connections to anti-immigrant legislation. Now Enlace is trying to force reform by targeting firms that financially support CCA’s entire industry.
Chuck Foy, the former executive director of the Arizona Correctional Peace Officers Association, a union for prison guards, told Prescott, Ariz.’s The Daily Courier in 2009 that CCA facilities provide wages at $10 to $12 per hour—almost 50 percent below the wages at state-run prisons. Foy also said CCA prisons hire fewer correctional officers and provide, on average, 240 hours fewer of training to their personnel.
A 2005 lawsuit brought by the watchdog group Michigan Protection and Advocacy Service against GEO, the nation’s second-largest private prison company, claimed there was only one social worker for 483 inmates at the GEO-run Michigan Youth Correctional Facility in Baldwin, Mich. The facility reported 61 suicide attempts in a six-month period that year, compared to 18 the previous year.
As of December 31, 2010, Wells Fargo had $88.7 million invested in GEO and $5.9 million in CCA. “When we spoke to Wells Fargo, they denied having any holdings with CCA and GEO group. Even though the information is public, they still denied it,” said Peter Cervantes-Gautschi, director of Enlace. While the bank may not admit its connections to the private prison industry—at least to activists—its investments are sound.
Detainment is a lucrative trade. Prisons can earn $90-$200 per inmate per night, which translates into nearly $5 billion in revenues each year. The industry has lobbied diligently to secure profits, supporting and even writing laws to increase prison sentences and populations, especially among undocumented immigrants. Between 2003 and 2010, private prison companies spent more than $20 million lobbying legislators and the Department of Homeland Security. Additionally, GEO has given $790,000 to lobbying firms HighGround and Podesta Group, while CCA has given $680,000 to the Washington, D.C. lobbying firm Akin Gump.
Arizona state senator Russell Pearce, the purported writer of SB1070, Arizona’s anti-immigrant law passed in 2010, met with CCA representatives at an American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) conference in December 2009, where together they reportedly drafted the legislation. When Pearce introduced the bill in January 2010, 36 senators signed on as co-sponsors. Over the next six months, 30 of them received donations from CCA, GEO or MTC.
“Criminal justice law is supposed to protect citizens, not purposely put them away for financial gain,” Cervantes-Gautschi said.
Since SB1070 was signed into law in April 2010, five other states—Utah, Indiana, Georgia, Alabama and South Carolina—have passed similar or near-identical legislation. On May 13, Georgia governor Nathan Deal, who has received thousands of dollars worth of campaign contributions from CCA, signed his state’s version of the bill, HB87, into law.
As anti-immigrant laws gain support across the country, solidarity groups are redoubling their efforts against the corporations that stand to benefit. On July 1, when HB87 took effect, the prison divestment campaign held its second, larger round of demonstrations outside of Wells Fargo offices in 14 cities across the country, demanding that the bank and all other shareholders of private prisons dump their investments. Activists in Denver convinced the Wells Fargo regional vice president to agree to meet with them in August. A different vice president rescinded an earlier agreement in San Francisco, however, saying that while the Wells Fargo mutual fund invests in prisons, the bank does not.
Pershing didn’t say it was reacting to the new campaign, but Enlace, an umbrella group of 21 worker centers, unions and community groups in the United States and Mexico that is leading the divestment campaign, took credit in a statement later that month.
On May 12, the first day of the campaign, Enlace and other groups organized protests in New York City, Los Angeles, Tucson, Nashville and Miami to pressure Wells Fargo, General Electric, Fidelity, Wellington Management Company and other firms to divest from private prison corporations including CCA, GEO Group (GEO) and Management and Training Corporation (MTC).
CCA, the private prison industry’s largest company, which has contracts with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and the U.S. Marshal Service, is also the nation’s largest detainer of undocumented immigrants. Since the company began to receive ICE contracts in 2000, immigrant rights groups have been targeting CCA for prisoner abuse, poor working conditions for guards and the company’s connections to anti-immigrant legislation. Now Enlace is trying to force reform by targeting firms that financially support CCA’s entire industry.
Chuck Foy, the former executive director of the Arizona Correctional Peace Officers Association, a union for prison guards, told Prescott, Ariz.’s The Daily Courier in 2009 that CCA facilities provide wages at $10 to $12 per hour—almost 50 percent below the wages at state-run prisons. Foy also said CCA prisons hire fewer correctional officers and provide, on average, 240 hours fewer of training to their personnel.
A 2005 lawsuit brought by the watchdog group Michigan Protection and Advocacy Service against GEO, the nation’s second-largest private prison company, claimed there was only one social worker for 483 inmates at the GEO-run Michigan Youth Correctional Facility in Baldwin, Mich. The facility reported 61 suicide attempts in a six-month period that year, compared to 18 the previous year.
As of December 31, 2010, Wells Fargo had $88.7 million invested in GEO and $5.9 million in CCA. “When we spoke to Wells Fargo, they denied having any holdings with CCA and GEO group. Even though the information is public, they still denied it,” said Peter Cervantes-Gautschi, director of Enlace. While the bank may not admit its connections to the private prison industry—at least to activists—its investments are sound.
Detainment is a lucrative trade. Prisons can earn $90-$200 per inmate per night, which translates into nearly $5 billion in revenues each year. The industry has lobbied diligently to secure profits, supporting and even writing laws to increase prison sentences and populations, especially among undocumented immigrants. Between 2003 and 2010, private prison companies spent more than $20 million lobbying legislators and the Department of Homeland Security. Additionally, GEO has given $790,000 to lobbying firms HighGround and Podesta Group, while CCA has given $680,000 to the Washington, D.C. lobbying firm Akin Gump.
Arizona state senator Russell Pearce, the purported writer of SB1070, Arizona’s anti-immigrant law passed in 2010, met with CCA representatives at an American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) conference in December 2009, where together they reportedly drafted the legislation. When Pearce introduced the bill in January 2010, 36 senators signed on as co-sponsors. Over the next six months, 30 of them received donations from CCA, GEO or MTC.
“Criminal justice law is supposed to protect citizens, not purposely put them away for financial gain,” Cervantes-Gautschi said.
Since SB1070 was signed into law in April 2010, five other states—Utah, Indiana, Georgia, Alabama and South Carolina—have passed similar or near-identical legislation. On May 13, Georgia governor Nathan Deal, who has received thousands of dollars worth of campaign contributions from CCA, signed his state’s version of the bill, HB87, into law.
As anti-immigrant laws gain support across the country, solidarity groups are redoubling their efforts against the corporations that stand to benefit. On July 1, when HB87 took effect, the prison divestment campaign held its second, larger round of demonstrations outside of Wells Fargo offices in 14 cities across the country, demanding that the bank and all other shareholders of private prisons dump their investments. Activists in Denver convinced the Wells Fargo regional vice president to agree to meet with them in August. A different vice president rescinded an earlier agreement in San Francisco, however, saying that while the Wells Fargo mutual fund invests in prisons, the bank does not.
JP Morgan Chase Benefits from US Unemployment and Food Stamps
If ya didn't know....
The deepest recession since the great depression cost Americans more than eight million jobs and $787 billion in tax-payer funds for Wall Street. Bailout recipient JP Morgan Chase has recovered well, but most Americans have not.
Americans are generally known for their healthy appetite.Some eat what they crave, while others like Gavrielle Gemma, only eat what is affordable.
Gemma is an unemployed 61-year old with a monthly food budget of two-hundred dollars.She is among the 43-million Americans relying on federal food subsidy. The electronic benefit transfer card allows food stamp recipients to spend their allowance. A plastic lifeline for the hungry and unemployed is also a money maker for JP Morgan Chase, the largest processor of food stamp benefits in the US.Meaning an increase in food stamp recipients equals more profit for the investment bank.
“Yes it pisses me off that every time I use my debit card, JP Morgan make a little money off my transaction. JP Morgan is responsible for the fact that I’m unemployed. So it doesn’t surprise me that every aspect of this program and everything has been privatized,” said Gemma.
JP Morgan Chase provides food stamp debit cards in 26 states and the District of Columbia.
The firm is paid per customer, and in the state of Indiana, JP Morgan earns 186-thousand dollars per month for its food debit card service. Critics say JP Morgan is making a fortune off American poverty.
“As long as the unemployment rate remains high. As long as families are struggling… there’s sorta this perverse incentive for JP Morgan Chase to continue to benefit off of high unemployment because in many states they’re actually off-shoring the jobs related to processing the food stamps,” said Mary Bottari, Director of the Real Economy Project at the Center of Media and Democracy.
To save money, JP Morgan has been routing benefit card customer service calls to India, where employees reportedly earn no more than three-fifty an hour.Meanwhile, in the US abyss of economic hardship, nearly 14-million Americans are unemployed. JP Morgan has refused to say which states dial up customer service centers in India.
“It’s just completely inappropriate that this type of public service is being outsourced to a private profit driven company. Especially one that was bailed out by the taxpayers,” said Bottari.
In 2008, JP Morgan received a $25 billion tax payer bailout. By 2010, the investment bank recovered, showing a 17.8 billion dollar profit in 2010.The same can’t be said for the people. Forty percent of food stamp recipients are working Americans unable to keep pace with the cost of living.
With food prices set to soar and few bonuses handed out to the common folks, JP Morgan anticipates profits will grow.
"This business is a very important business to JP Morgan. It’s a very important business in terms of its size and scale. Volumes have gone through the roof in the past couple of years,” said Christopher Paton, a JP Morgan executive.
What is a booming business for the banks, is arguably feasting off the hungry and disadvantaged.
Michael T. Snyder, the founder of TheEconomicCollapseBlog.com said there is technically nothing illegal about what JP Morgan is doing, but it is highly distasteful.
“They received these huge bailouts from the US government so that they could get back on their feet, but then they are making these huge profits off the suffering of the American people,” he said. “The more Americans that go on feed stamps, the more money JP Morgan makes.”
JP Morgan’s profits have grown consistently with the growth of Americans using food stamps. In addition, the service and support branch of the operation is based in India. When you call the service number Americans are directed to a call center in India, as opposed to the United States, where unemployment numbers continue to rise.
“It’s like rubbing salt in the wound of the millions upon millions of the American people that don’t have jobs,” commented Snyder.
States that outsource to JP Morgan could work with other companies or hire others to do the jobs, but they aren’t.
“There is no desire on the part of the state governments to do anything about this,” he added.
Source
The deepest recession since the great depression cost Americans more than eight million jobs and $787 billion in tax-payer funds for Wall Street. Bailout recipient JP Morgan Chase has recovered well, but most Americans have not.
Americans are generally known for their healthy appetite.Some eat what they crave, while others like Gavrielle Gemma, only eat what is affordable.
Gemma is an unemployed 61-year old with a monthly food budget of two-hundred dollars.She is among the 43-million Americans relying on federal food subsidy. The electronic benefit transfer card allows food stamp recipients to spend their allowance. A plastic lifeline for the hungry and unemployed is also a money maker for JP Morgan Chase, the largest processor of food stamp benefits in the US.Meaning an increase in food stamp recipients equals more profit for the investment bank.
“Yes it pisses me off that every time I use my debit card, JP Morgan make a little money off my transaction. JP Morgan is responsible for the fact that I’m unemployed. So it doesn’t surprise me that every aspect of this program and everything has been privatized,” said Gemma.
JP Morgan Chase provides food stamp debit cards in 26 states and the District of Columbia.
The firm is paid per customer, and in the state of Indiana, JP Morgan earns 186-thousand dollars per month for its food debit card service. Critics say JP Morgan is making a fortune off American poverty.
“As long as the unemployment rate remains high. As long as families are struggling… there’s sorta this perverse incentive for JP Morgan Chase to continue to benefit off of high unemployment because in many states they’re actually off-shoring the jobs related to processing the food stamps,” said Mary Bottari, Director of the Real Economy Project at the Center of Media and Democracy.
To save money, JP Morgan has been routing benefit card customer service calls to India, where employees reportedly earn no more than three-fifty an hour.Meanwhile, in the US abyss of economic hardship, nearly 14-million Americans are unemployed. JP Morgan has refused to say which states dial up customer service centers in India.
“It’s just completely inappropriate that this type of public service is being outsourced to a private profit driven company. Especially one that was bailed out by the taxpayers,” said Bottari.
In 2008, JP Morgan received a $25 billion tax payer bailout. By 2010, the investment bank recovered, showing a 17.8 billion dollar profit in 2010.The same can’t be said for the people. Forty percent of food stamp recipients are working Americans unable to keep pace with the cost of living.
With food prices set to soar and few bonuses handed out to the common folks, JP Morgan anticipates profits will grow.
"This business is a very important business to JP Morgan. It’s a very important business in terms of its size and scale. Volumes have gone through the roof in the past couple of years,” said Christopher Paton, a JP Morgan executive.
What is a booming business for the banks, is arguably feasting off the hungry and disadvantaged.
Michael T. Snyder, the founder of TheEconomicCollapseBlog.com said there is technically nothing illegal about what JP Morgan is doing, but it is highly distasteful.
“They received these huge bailouts from the US government so that they could get back on their feet, but then they are making these huge profits off the suffering of the American people,” he said. “The more Americans that go on feed stamps, the more money JP Morgan makes.”
JP Morgan’s profits have grown consistently with the growth of Americans using food stamps. In addition, the service and support branch of the operation is based in India. When you call the service number Americans are directed to a call center in India, as opposed to the United States, where unemployment numbers continue to rise.
“It’s like rubbing salt in the wound of the millions upon millions of the American people that don’t have jobs,” commented Snyder.
States that outsource to JP Morgan could work with other companies or hire others to do the jobs, but they aren’t.
“There is no desire on the part of the state governments to do anything about this,” he added.
Source
Friday, October 21, 2011
Jumah Mubarak!
Beautiful Quran recitation of surah Maryam by the Nigerian Sheikh Ahmad Suleiman.
I'm not sure if many of you are familiar with recitations of the Quran, but they vary. This style totally spoke to me. I hope to find more recordings of the Sheikh. His delivery matches my home perfectly.
I'm not sure if many of you are familiar with recitations of the Quran, but they vary. This style totally spoke to me. I hope to find more recordings of the Sheikh. His delivery matches my home perfectly.
Style Icon: Joie Lee
Joie Lee has always been beautiful to me. She was and still is someone I look up to. When I was younger, seeing her with her signature hair, I said, "I want to be like her." She's brilliant and I wish she was in front of the camera as much as she's behind it these days. Here's Ms. Lee talking about her garden.
Check out her short film here: http://www.imdb.com/video/demo_reel/vi665951513/
Check out her short film here: http://www.imdb.com/video/demo_reel/vi665951513/
Thursday, October 20, 2011
30 AMERICANS
30 Americans - Preview from Corcoran Gallery of Art on Vimeo.
I wish I could see this exhibit. Hopefully it'll one day come to Dallas.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Reflecting Skin- Bonnie Greer
Writer and broadcaster Bonnie Greer goes in search of the black image as portrayed by white European artists in this provocative and revealing film.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Trenton Doyle Hancock
I learned of this artist while watching Art21 on Hulu. I found his narrative interesting. I could feel the anxiety he may have felt. He's from Paris, Texas. Knowing that town I can understand what it is to create worlds for yourself and to be the 'other', to break the mold of what's 'correct.' Maybe I'm reading more into it persuaded by editing. In these videos, he seems to be a different person, more comfortable in his skin. I think he's a genius.
His lecture at Boston University:
His lecture at Boston University:
Monday, October 17, 2011
Less Is More
It's that time again. I'm sure all of you have gone through it or I do it often: De cluttering. I have a daughter who grows out of clothes every 6 months it seems and there are toys that fall out of favor. Also for me there are clothing and things I no longer am using. I decided to do a big overhaul. The goal is to reduce, reduce, reduce.
I've already had a Salvation Army pick up. After that it's time to look around to see what else has to go. One upsetting accumulation is paper. Paper is everywhere for everything. It's ridiculous. So I'm shredding away near breaking the dern shredder.
It all upsets me this time because I can't figure out how I accumulate so much. I'm not the most organized person in the world. I admit that's a trait that needs to change, but dang! What am I holding on to?
I was also planning a bartering party, but I don't even want to trade anything. I just want it all to go. In some way with the clothes, I feel I'm giving up actually losing weight to fit back into them. But in some ways I feel the clutter of unused clothes is the weight, if you get what I'm saying. How many times am I going to search through my closet finding item after item I can't fit? How demoralizing is that?! To do this on an everyday basis is no longer useful in my life. Was it ever useful?
Obviously holding on to things is not working for me. It's wearing on my phyche. Now it's time to push them out. I'm thinking as if I had to move into a smaller place, what would I take with me. Like I think "If my closet was smaller, what are my pieces?" "If I could only take a few appliances, what would they be?" "If I had to pack my kitchen tools right now, what would I take?"
I give it all to charity, because I know someone could use it somewhere. I'm not using it and I'm sick of being stuck in the what ifs. I want the "This is now" mentality. There's freedom in less. I want that.
In the past, when I was single and childless, I had a really large loft apartment. All were there was a couch, a dining table and a chair. Also there was my bed. There wasn't a lot of places to sit etc for guests. My friends used to joke about the emptiness, but I used to quip, "What? And ruin all this dance floor?"
I didn't see the need to put in more than I used in the space. I kind of feel myself returning to that mindset, but things are different. I am married, we have a little girl, we occasionally host things at home. I do need the seating etc. But now I don't think we need more than we use in the space. I've entertained with less. I can do it again.
Also in this, I've decided not to be a hijabi. I love wearing scarves and still do- if not on my head artfully dancing around my dreads or turban style, it's on my neck or arms. I've decided to pick my clothing where I'm not showing off boobs or anything (I've grown tired of the girls being out.) but being covered is not fitting into my life right now. I do love putting on the full hijab as I get ready for mosque. I feel comfortable either way. I hate I have a job that does not allow me to cover. One day, ishallah, I will be self employed. So I'm doing away with those clothes that I tried to make work for me, but didn't. It was my limited thinking of what Islam meant for me. It's more than clothing. Don't take this as an anti hijab/ women's bodies political thing. Again I say I LOVE THE HIJAB and I love being covered. Right now, being a hijabi is not fitting who I am. It's still very important to me to have a scarf with me for when I do have the opportunity to pray when I'm out of the house or go to a mosque. Modesty is a must. I'm pushing thought, not my body, as worth.
I'm also ready to show my fine art again. It's long overdue for showing and creating new pieces.
With this de cluttering, I feel like I'm moving out from under a dark cloud of all that accumulated over these last few years, which at times were hard. I need to make room for future possibilities in my life, not just filling it with stuff. I want to welcome people and new art in my life. Also my husband, daughter and I need the dance floor. :)
I've already had a Salvation Army pick up. After that it's time to look around to see what else has to go. One upsetting accumulation is paper. Paper is everywhere for everything. It's ridiculous. So I'm shredding away near breaking the dern shredder.
It all upsets me this time because I can't figure out how I accumulate so much. I'm not the most organized person in the world. I admit that's a trait that needs to change, but dang! What am I holding on to?
I was also planning a bartering party, but I don't even want to trade anything. I just want it all to go. In some way with the clothes, I feel I'm giving up actually losing weight to fit back into them. But in some ways I feel the clutter of unused clothes is the weight, if you get what I'm saying. How many times am I going to search through my closet finding item after item I can't fit? How demoralizing is that?! To do this on an everyday basis is no longer useful in my life. Was it ever useful?
Obviously holding on to things is not working for me. It's wearing on my phyche. Now it's time to push them out. I'm thinking as if I had to move into a smaller place, what would I take with me. Like I think "If my closet was smaller, what are my pieces?" "If I could only take a few appliances, what would they be?" "If I had to pack my kitchen tools right now, what would I take?"
I give it all to charity, because I know someone could use it somewhere. I'm not using it and I'm sick of being stuck in the what ifs. I want the "This is now" mentality. There's freedom in less. I want that.
In the past, when I was single and childless, I had a really large loft apartment. All were there was a couch, a dining table and a chair. Also there was my bed. There wasn't a lot of places to sit etc for guests. My friends used to joke about the emptiness, but I used to quip, "What? And ruin all this dance floor?"
I didn't see the need to put in more than I used in the space. I kind of feel myself returning to that mindset, but things are different. I am married, we have a little girl, we occasionally host things at home. I do need the seating etc. But now I don't think we need more than we use in the space. I've entertained with less. I can do it again.
Also in this, I've decided not to be a hijabi. I love wearing scarves and still do- if not on my head artfully dancing around my dreads or turban style, it's on my neck or arms. I've decided to pick my clothing where I'm not showing off boobs or anything (I've grown tired of the girls being out.) but being covered is not fitting into my life right now. I do love putting on the full hijab as I get ready for mosque. I feel comfortable either way. I hate I have a job that does not allow me to cover. One day, ishallah, I will be self employed. So I'm doing away with those clothes that I tried to make work for me, but didn't. It was my limited thinking of what Islam meant for me. It's more than clothing. Don't take this as an anti hijab/ women's bodies political thing. Again I say I LOVE THE HIJAB and I love being covered. Right now, being a hijabi is not fitting who I am. It's still very important to me to have a scarf with me for when I do have the opportunity to pray when I'm out of the house or go to a mosque. Modesty is a must. I'm pushing thought, not my body, as worth.
I'm also ready to show my fine art again. It's long overdue for showing and creating new pieces.
With this de cluttering, I feel like I'm moving out from under a dark cloud of all that accumulated over these last few years, which at times were hard. I need to make room for future possibilities in my life, not just filling it with stuff. I want to welcome people and new art in my life. Also my husband, daughter and I need the dance floor. :)
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